just had a dumb snapchat session with a friend bahahahaha

If homophobia were a conversation about food...
Homophobic Person: My favorite food is pizza!
Homosexual Person: Cool! My favorite food is pasta!
Bisexual Person: I like both!
Pansexual Person: Hey guys, I don't have a favorite! I'll pretty much eat what tastes good to me.
Asexual Person: I like the way food looks and smells more than the way it tastes.
Homophobic Person: whAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHY ISN'T PIZZA YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
jungwildeandfree:

sueslayer:

 
This is actually really funny if you think about it. I mean, there was totally some sort of ghost or demon about to kill her but then that sheet blew straight into its face and it was so embarrassed that it decided to disappear.

Tremble, mortal, for I am Zerendikos, and I will drag your howling soul to—
*flump*
AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IT’S ALL OVER MY FACE
FUCK 
WHAT IS THAT SMELL
IS THAT FUCKING FEBREEZE
FUCK DAMMIT SHIT FORGET THIS I’M OUT 

jungwildeandfree:

sueslayer:

 

This is actually really funny if you think about it. I mean, there was totally some sort of ghost or demon about to kill her but then that sheet blew straight into its face and it was so embarrassed that it decided to disappear.

Tremble, mortal, for I am Zerendikos, and I will drag your howling soul to—

*flump*

AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IT’S ALL OVER MY FACE

FUCK 

WHAT IS THAT SMELL

IS THAT FUCKING FEBREEZE

FUCK DAMMIT SHIT FORGET THIS I’M OUT 

thebuttblr:

nonomella:

strawberrytop007:

hyperwolf:

livelife-havefun-partyhard:

Parrot caught singing let the bodies hit the floor

I was so done when it whispered…I would shit bricks if I heard that when I got up to get a drink in the middle of the night…

“Let the bodies hit the….FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!”

oh my god he’s so into it

funny as fuck
kushandwizdom:

The good vibe

kushandwizdom:

The good vibe

troncats:

sorry:

I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night

why do text posts these days sound like they are quotes from a 40 year old mother’s facebook

yellfang:

party-at-the-tardis:

shavingryansprivates:

why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying

  • the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
  • ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
  • it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died

and fucking died

humpty dumpty committed suicide

jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull

A BABY FELL OUT A TREE

deplaisant:

dangerhamster:

the fact that people are like “Coca Cola supports racial equality, I’m not going to be drinking Coca Cola anymore” and “Google supports gay rights I’m not going to use them anymore” like what next “the Earth provides Oxygen to ethnic minorities I’m going to stop breathing in protest”

Hopefully

oh-deir:

ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES